Debate Time: Reply All vs. Forward

Even though this debate doesn't involve work emails exactly, I feel as though it is still relevant. This is probably because the majority of us spend the better part of our day checking personal emails more so than work emails, and we've all been in one of these precarious situations. Let's debate what's more annoying, the Reply All email, or the Forwarded email....


Reply All:

You attended a party Saturday night that you were dragged to by a friend or loved one, and you knew less than 20 percent of the guests in attendance. Sure, the party ended up being fun and you played some flip cup, but it's Monday morning and you don't even remember the names of the new friends you acquired. Then you receive an email. Usually the title gives them away, an ominous sign that it should not be opened. But you're bored as hell, and anything has to be better than searching ebay for a new 5-iron after you threw yours into a lake the day before. The first email is standard, usually from a guest of the party, stating how amazing their night was and even attaches a few pictures. Harmless. The only problem is they sent it as a mass email to the entire guest list.

Twenty minutes later, one of the 25 morons you don't know hits the Reply All button. This will begin a chain of events that will last the entire workday and ultimately cause you to dread even checking your inbox. Normally these emails will be inside jokes that you don't get, or re-creations of stories that happened that night.

"Do you guys remember when Sally drank out of that Sprite bottle but it was actually vodka and she spit it up all over Billy who was wearing his new seersucker suit!!! OMG that was tooooo much!!"

YES I remember, it happened two freaking days ago. Granted, I was pretty gone when the event occurred, but we just saw 80 pictures of Billy getting his suit patted down with paper towels by every girl there. I wish the drink had spilled on me actually. Anyway, shut up.

Here's how I deal with the abundance of Reply All messages: Wait until there have been about 15 emails or so, and make sure you have not written a single thing. Your name may be brought up, slandered, or even gawked about, but it's crucial that you say nothing. Then, you drop some knowledge on em. Here are a few examples of emails that you can write to this godforsaken chain...

-Please unsubscribe
-Can someone take me off this distribution list
-I don't know who anyone is on this list. Kindly remove me from any future emails or I will send this chain to the FBI
-Your party kinda sucked
-I was supposed to meet up with this hottie at a bar and instead ended up seeing Billy's boxer shorts. Worst night of my life
-Is the chick that was in the yellow dress on this listserve? If so, are you with anybody? I hope it's not the guy whose lap you were sitting on most of the night, I heard he's a sex offender
-I stole three bottles of rum from your party in case you were wondering where they went. I felt bad about it at first, but now that I've had to deal with these emails all day I'm not only complacent about the theft, I'm not giving them back either
-Guy playing flipcup in the brown shirt tried to hit on me. Just sayin'
-If you're going to send 300 emails to this listserve today can someone at least try and use spell check, or take a grammar class?

Forward:

Maybe it's just me, but 90% of the forwarded emails I receive are dreadful. When I see FWD: in the subject line, my mind subconsciously deletes my entire hard drive. It's a terrible habit. First of all, I don't have a sound card and youtube is blocked at my work, so video forwards obviously can't happen. Secondly, the joke you just sent wasn't funny two years ago the first time it was forwarded to me by someone lamer than you.

The only two forwards I'll give the time of day are: Anything from www.someecards.com, an amazingly hilarious site filled with poignant one-liners and jabs at todays conventional society...AND...anything having to do with sports, including what defensive lineman the Redskins just picked up from Alcorn St., or if Marcus Vick has been arrested again.

I will admit that on occasion I hit both the Reply All and the Forward, and I hate myself for it. Sometimes it's called for, and as long as you don't overdue it, they can both be helpful ways to distribute information across the internet. But if they are put into the wrong hands, there's no telling what kind of mischief they can cause. And Billy, in case you're wondering, I stole your seersucker suit while it was hanging in the laundry room. I might have a problem.