MAILBAG!!!

Today we get an early mailbag since I'm heading to the beach tonight and sand would ruin my laptop. Let's get rollin...

Peddles,

We have a new hottie intern in the office for the summer, and despite your thoughts about straying from office relationships, I was wondering if you had any thoughts on these young, college, ladies that are only here for a few months.

Rick, VA

Good question,

As I've stated numerous times on this site, hooking up with coworkers is a terrible idea. It's lame, predictable, and will end disastrously. But, my good friend, you have found the one loophole. Everywhere in America, but especially in the D.C. area, the summer comes with an added bonus: young, college interns. Starting in early June I actually look forward to riding the metro, and being accompanied by tight office skirts and pink ipod's. It's heaven. And the best part is, we all have a chance with these girls.

Most of them will be living in a sub-leased apartment in the city for the summer, trying to get into the business or political world early by getting coffee for the full-time assistants. But once the work day is over, they WANT to party. They're college girls for crying out loud. Here's the main tip I can give you...Get to them early. There will be massive competition for these ladies, and if you don't strike up a conversation to get a date reserved the first week they're there, you're finished.

Lie about how big of a baller you are, invite her to a happy hour, and treat her like a queen. And you're not being a jerk or a masochist since they want the same thing. These girls are in college, getting their first taste of the real world, and they want every experience they can get. If anything, by wooing her you're teaching her the ways of the world outside of the professional corner. You're a professor of love, so to speak.

So start watching MTV again, rent a new Mercedes for the summer, and get ready to relive your youth. And remember, she's going to like you just because you're older, so don't try so hard.
Peddler,

I have a meeting with the CEO of my biggest client next week, and I'm incredibly nervous. How do you take the edge off?

Kristen, OK

Kristen,

No matter what you're going to be fine. When meeting with big shot executives, it's fine to be nervous. They actually expect it. When you show up to a meeting with your hands trembling, your forehead sweating, and your words getting jumbled, it gives these people a sense of power, which will ultimately make the meeting more successful. After going through a few dozen of these encounters over the years I've lost my sense of nervousness around executives, but to this day will still act apprehensive. Sometimes they'll respect you more if you stand tall and firm, but I stopped caring about respect ages ago. I just want to get the deal done at this point.

Also, make sure you get in good with the assistant to the executive you're meeting with, since they have more power than anyone else in the company. When you're waiting for the meeting to start, strike up a conversation with him/her, and act genuinely interested. Later on when the CEO asks his/her assistant what they thought of you there will nothing but praise, which could easily sway his business decision.

Peddler,

I just got a new job and I'm required to wear a suit and tie every day. The only problem is I don't currently own a suit, and was wondering if you had suggestions on what kind to get.

John, MI

Jack,

Don't take the job. I don't care how bad the economy is right now, and how hard it is to find gainful employment. It's not worth it. My last job required me to wear a full suit five days a week, and is one of the main reasons that I eventually quit. They're incredibly uncomfortable, dry cleaning bills cost a fortune, and it can become a nuisance matching the tie, suit, and undershirt I find.

As long as you're not in court, or going to a meeting, suits should never be worn professionally. If I'm sitting at a desk all day typing random nonsense into an Excel spreadsheet, why can't I be in a collared shirt and khaki's? It makes no sense to me. Granted, the ladies do love the look, but it's a huge pain to pull it off each and every day. And don't get me started on the cost. Suits go for a few hundo for a decent one, and if you're wearing one every day then you need at least four. If you wear the same suit two days in a row, then forget about that raise. You'll be dreaming about the corner office for another eight months. People notice these things.

But seriously, if you're looking for a good suit the best place to go is either Nordstrom Rack (their retail outlet) or if you recently robbed a bank, Brooks Brothers. A great suit brand for a decent price is Joseph Abboud, and Ben Sherman makes quality shirts and ties for a cost that will leave with enough cash to take that new hottie intern out for the meal of her life. Just make sure you act interested when she talks about her sorority.

Have a fantastic weekend people...