Firing in the News

Everything that is humorous about our country can be analyzed by what happens in fast food chains, I've always said that. For some reason I feel that besides Microsoft and maybe Girls Gone Wild, the fast food industry runs this great country of ours. That being said, Burger King has lost my business. You've probably seen this by now (here's a news reel), but apparently an employee of theirs in Ohio (a state I recently visited, and can honestly say I'm not surprised by these actions) was fired for not only taking a bath in a utility sink, but putting a video of it on MySpace. How can foreigners hate our country, I don't get it.

There are many incredible elements of this article, but I'll just list my personal favorites below...

-His self-prescribed nickname is "Mr. Unstable", which is not only accurate but ridiculously hysterical. I can't wait to nickname my next ex-girlfriend "Miss Unstable".

-MySpace has taken the video down since last night. Of all the things on MySpace that are immoral, illegal, and sexually deviant, this seems like it shouldn't have been exiled. Until I read on....

-Apparently his buddy videotaped the event and claimed that Mr. Unstable was completely naked throughout the four minute film. I was not in Ohio long enough to realize that the male gender enjoys videotaping each other naked, but I can assure everyone that I will not be returning.

-The buddy videotaping as well as Mr. Unstable were fired from Burger King, which I can understand. Even though the kid was attempting to get clean, he did record a perverse video in the restaurant and posted it online. But the thing that shocked me the most is that the article states a third employee, a friend of the two, quit his job at the same time. This is where I get confused. It appears he was so distraught that his friends were fired for filming this kinky, french, nude, dirty, but technically also clean (get it), fast-food, utility sink piece of art that he had to end his employment with the corporation.

Maybe I'm not as good of a friend, but if two of my coworkers get caught videotaping each other bathing in the sink in my cafeteria, I'm not going to quit just because they were fired. I think my first move will be deleting their contact information from my Blackberry.

-Final sentence of the article..."Greene County Health Commissioner Mark McDonnell said he dispatched an inspector to the restaurant, but workers had already sterilized the sink, which is used to clean large pieces of equipment." Excuse me, but I'm going to play devil's advocate here. One of your incredible employees already bathed in the sink, how do you expect me to trust one of your other steadfast employees to sterilize it?

I have an odd feeling that this particular Burger King will be soon be a Long John Silvers, which may or may not be a cleaner environment in the long run. All I know is the only advice I can give for the American people out there is not to ever use your office facilities as a way to cleanse yourself. And if you do, don't have one of your bizzaro coworkers videotape the entire thing, it will give your restaurant and state a bad (sorry, worse) name.