Fine, Enjoy Your Ham Sandwich...

Everyone in my office is freaking out today. After the big market plunge that occurred yesterday when that nifty bill didn't pass, our country is now in some sort of economic downward spiral. Granted, I'm not happy about it either, but we've pretty much seen this coming for the past six months, haven't we? Gotta save those acorns people.

Anyway, it amazes me how this 'sudden' turn of events has everyone acting as if we're entering a nuclear holocaust within the next three weeks. And whoever has the most pennies saved up at that time will be king of the world, while those who have nothing will be forced to work in accounting. Just like the 1940's...

This morning I asked Paul, our resident douche bag, if he'd like to grab a bite to eat at lunch. Normally, we head off into society on Tuesdays for an extended lunch period of one hour and twenty minutes, instead of the normal hour. It makes us feel like rebels, we get out of the office for a bit, and the waitresses at our favorite restaurant make it seem like they would have sex with us. I tip pretty big because of it. So I was a bit pertubed when I knocked on Paul's cube to remind him of our weekly ritual, and he gave me an abrupt, "I can't afford to spend that kind of loot on lunch anymore. I'm bringing my lunch in from now on."

Now, don't get me wrong, I have no problem with someone trying to save some money when times are tough. But Paul doesn't have kids, he's not married, and he doesn't have a mortgage. He drives a Range Rover and sleeps with women that are way out of his league. Has it become hip to act cheap these days? I feel that I hear this excuse from people more so than usual, and it's beginning to drive me insane. Like you're a more respectable person if you order a domestic beer instead of an import because that extra $1.50 will go straight into your gas tank. Well if I'm going to spend $4.00 for a beer, I'd personally rather spend $5.50 and actually enjoy it. And don't give me that, 'you should buy domestic beer to help out America', considering a company from Belgium just bought Anheuser-Busch.

From now on, no matter what terrible crisis happens upon our great nation, I'm going to keep treating money the way I always have...like a freaking idiot. These are times where we need to spend that extra dollar to remember how great this country is. We need to go to Whole Foods instead of our average grocery store, even though it's a bit overpriced. Why? Because there are always hundreds of cute, healthy, well-to-do women there to gawk at. We need to buy tickets to our favorite sporting event, even though they cost more than a new car. Why? Because the Redskins are 3-1. Women need to keep shopping for their favorite shoes, makeup, and hair supplies. Why? Because it's therapeutic, the same way sports are for men. Plus, winter is right around the corner, which means I need to find my annual cold weather girlfriend now that Single Summer Steve is winding down.

Let's keep checking the market every day, and monitoring the health of our sickly economy. But also, let's not forget that we don't have to cut out everything from our lives just because Citigroup bought out Wachovia. So today, I'm going to the restaurant by myself, ordering the surf and turf, and asking for the waitresses number. Who knows, she could end up becoming my 2008 winter girlfriend, as long as she doesn't mind dating a broke, mid-20's idiot that is obviously not saving for his future.