Football in the News...

I'm sure that many of will spend your next few Friday's at work editing your fantasy team, and the next few Monday's analyzing how your team preformed. And you will do all of this while cowering in your cube in a feeble attempt to hide from your superiors. Lucky for us, this act of trepidation may be no more according to this article in Press Release Newswire. Apparently, fantasy football alone cost this country 9.8 billion dollars in productivity last year alone. The reason, they say, is employees play online for a few minutes at a time throughout the day on their favorite hobby, and neglect the flow of their work output.

Well now there seems to be an answer. A company called Fantasy Football Starters have deployed a fantasy football software designed solely for organizations. I'm sorry what?

This software allows employees to type in their lineups and the software designates who the user should start based on injuries, etc. The catch is that the employee can only access the site for a designated time period of the day, which forces them to focus on their work the rest of the time in the office. Here's a nifty graph they provided to help you understand...

So here's my only question. Who is going to find me a new job when I go pitch this idea to my boss? Also, whoever is in Sales for this company should run the world, because they can convince anyone to do anything. What is their pitch exactly?

Office Manager: Hello, this is Bob. How can I help you?
Fantasy Sales Guy (FSG): Hi, this is Rick with Fantasy Football Starters. I'd like you to purchase a software from us that allows your employees to play on the Internet during their work hours.
Office Manager: Huh?
FSG: This software helps them with their fantasy football team, which in turn, increases their productivity.
Office Manager: Is this a joke?
FSG: I assure you it's not. Look at our website and the nifty graph we have.
Office Manager: Seriously, am I being put on?
FSG: Ha, we get that alot. Now, how many software packs do you need sir?
Office Manager: Look, you want me to buy something from you that lets our employees play fantasy football?
FSG: Yes, and if you don't I will tell the FCC that you just sexually harrassed me over the phone.
Office Manager: Excuse me?
FSG: You have 20 seconds to decide. My uncle is the editor of a nationally syndicated newspaper, and I'll have the story on tomorrows front page, 'Major Company Harasses Poor Caller'.
Office Manager: Ok, I'll take 300 orders.
FSG: Good choice.

I'm not sure how else their pitch could go. Personally, I love fantasy football, but if I owned a company there is no way in hell I would allow my underlings to download this software. Of course, I would also be the dictator from hell if I owned a company, so let's hope that never happens.