Commuting in any city these days can be a tricky, expensive, and time consuming process. For some reason we have the exact same amount of roads and highways in this country as we did thirty years ago, when there were 100 million less people. You think that would have occurred to someone. The D.C. area has attempted to help traffic and the environment at the same time by creating massive amounts of HOV lanes, which allow commuters to drive in a special lane if they happen to have friends. If you're a loser, however, you must sit in gridlock.
Ah, but not anymore. Apparently, and I'm just finding this out myself, there is a commuting trick in D.C. called slugging that I thought you may find interesting. Basically, people wait in line at designated areas for drivers that are going the same direction, and would like to speed up their commute by using HOV. This way, the free loaders get a ride to work, and the DWF's (drivers without friends) skip traffic altogether. I guess this is helpful for people who don't make a lot of money, considering gas prices these days, but it still has an odd feel to me.
So, I did some research. First of all, there's a website. On this website they explain where the slug-lines are located as well as some of the proper slugging etiquette. This is where things get interesting....
Slugs do not talk -- They try to treat this bizarre ritual like it's a Metro ride, where everyone minds their own business. Can I offer people a piece of gum? What if I need to make a pit-stop? I'm not sure I could deal with the eerie silence of four strangers sitting in a car together for 30 minutes.
Only the driver can operate the radio, windows, and car temperature -- This rule is pretty sweet. If I was driving with three slugs in my car I would roll the windows down in the dead of winter, crank up Twisted Sister on full blast, and sit there with a smile on my face. Even if they wanted to complain, I throw the no talking rule back in their face.
Driver's should not "stop short" -- I just mentioned this rule because of Frank Costanza stopping short with a Korean woman in an old episode of Seinfeld. This trick, which he claims he invented, involves slamming on the breaks and then throwing your right arm into the upper chest region of a lady in a feeble attempt to keep her from flying forward. Although, in slugging terms, it just means the driver can't stop before the agreed upon destination. Does that mean the Frank Costanza's version is not off-limits? Nice...
No goods or money can be exchanged -- This is starting to sound like a communist regime.
Will Call -- This is when a driver pulls up to a slug line and has the option to choose anyone they want to skip to the front, in the event that one of their friends is waiting. Now, if I'm driving that day and pull up to a massive line of slug people, am I allowed to scan the line for the hottest government worker lady I can find, and then ask her to ride with me? This scam is a no-brainer. I'd much rather have a cutie pie ride with me than some fat guy with body odor. Of course, I'd also sit her up front and stop short at every red light.
"Hey, you in the pink. Hop in."
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