100TH POST!!!

Holy crap, it's our 100th post.

Let's get to the emails that have come in recently...

Peddler,

Congrats on your 100th post. I compare you guys to Clark W. Griswold in the original National Lampoon's Vacation movie. A blatant disregard for human life, while having a love for everything else.

Danielle, TX

Danielle,

This is a happy day for all of us. It took quite a bit to get here, and we are very much celebrating that fact by drinking absinthe and puking our guts out. Some people might compare our 100th post to MASH having 200 episodes, or DiMaggio's 56 game hitting streak, or Nancy Reagan helping rid the school systems of drugs. Either way, it's a milestone that will carry on its legacy for years on end.

I feel as though our 100th post shouldn't be about us, but should be about the readers. There have been a few tough times that have rendered this site a tad trivial, yet you continue to read despite all the other amazing items on the internet. Sometimes I don't even read our site after I've posted, which can be a damper on the editing process. But all things considered, it's been a hell of a ride so far...

Let's take a look at the best of Cantbefired in order to rehash some of our favorite memories. The story involving me regifting my grandfathers tie. I wish that story never happened, but unfortunately, it did. I had no choice but to search my car for anything that resembled a quick anniversary gift, and now I just hope my grandfather doesn't ask me to wear the freaking thing to the next family wedding.

The original story that put us on the map involving me, a toilet, and a dumbass accountant. No matter how moronic I consider myself, nothing will compare to the fact that I refused to get up off of the toilet for much needed light. This situation has actually come up again recently (disgusting, I know), except this time the lights stayed on during the whole ordeal. How, you ask? Because I put a strip of scotch tape over the sensor that controls the automatic shutoff. Probably illegal, but worth it.

And how about the time when I destroyed my coworkers personal fan. Apparenly, he didn't like the idea too much and ended up calling my house phone and hanging up incesently. I simply assume it was him, although it could be any number of people that I've angered in the recent past. The worst part is that I think he intentionally modified his new fan to make it sound like an aircraft carrier. No wonder I can't get any work done.

How about the time that I carried Dan Marino's bags when I was working in a hotel, and he referred to me using a womans name. Like I care, he's only my boyhood idol. Me meeting Dan Marino is like any woman in the world meeting Angelina Jolie. You're turned on, but not to the point that it makes you seem gay.

Peddler,

Any goals for the next 100 posts?

Frank, NY

Frank,

I try to avoid having any goals in my life, and I refuse to anticipate anything as well. That being said, we're going to keep posting when a post is needed and see where this thing takes us. When we get burned out, or people stop reading, then we'll end the dream and go back to simply bitching to people instead of putting it into words.

But thank you all for reading, and we will continue to do what we're doing for the time being. I'm not exactly sure what it is we're doing, but hopefully we're assisting you in realizing how to succeed in life by doing the smallest amount of work possible. It's probably not the best method during these tough economic times, but if the government and wall street are going to slack off, why can't we?

Enjoy your weekend, and we'll try and keep you entertained throughout the next 100 posts. Thanks again....