MAILBAG!!!

Actually been somewhat busy at work this week, and I'm not sure I like it. Let's get to these emails so I can get back to watching my life pass before my eyes.

Peddler,

How do you feel about people wearing Halloween costumes to work?

Chris, NY

Chris,

Obviously, I think it's ridiculous. I used to work for a massive company that encouraged employees to wear whatever they wanted on this holiday. Personally, I never wore a costume because I didn't want to look like an idiot at my place of employment, and this actually got me ridiculed more. I would constantly hear 'Why no costume Steve?' and 'What, you're too good for Halloween?' and 'Are you dressed up like a douchebag?'.

This past Tuesday our office had a Halloween party, and although I love the holiday, I'm not looking forward to going out tonight. There were three women in our company that donned a Sarah Palin outfit, and there were two guys in Joker costumes. I have a feeling that these numbers will triple while I'm walking the streets of Georgetown this evening. For some reason I've always assumed that the main reason for Halloween was for women to wear scandalous outfits without being judged, but apparently it's also a great way to see who sucks at life. Please, I beg of you people, do not wear a Palin or Joker costume. If you're already invested into one of these ideas, then go to a costume shop and get a new one. You will regret your decision sooner rather than later.

You think I'm kidding, but half the people you see tonight will look like this idiot.

Peddler,

Why does the show 'The Office' suck now?

Everyone, USA

Everyone,

Let's be honest, the main reason the show has fallen on hard times is because Jim and Pam have gotten together. Before their courtship the show was reasonably funny, and now it sucks my balls. I'm sorry if that's not a reasonable thing to say but I don't care anymore, the show is a straight waste of my time. The sad thing is people actually still watch it despite the overall suckiness, and miss shows like 'It's Always Sunny in Philadelphia'. So ridiculous. The show used to be halfway decent, and now I'm assuming the writers are on drugs. Or maybe now they're off drugs. Please, I would love to laugh once. Just once.


Peddler,

My boss quit and I was offered her job, but I love the lack of responsibility of my current job, and don't want to risk having to actually do anything. Is there any way you would take this promotion?

Paul, MA

Paul,

I would never pass up a promotion, no matter what the new job was. The level of responsibility of any job is based on how much time and effort you put into it. If you decide to take this job, simply do nothing like you've been doing and you'll coast by as you always have. Plus, the thing you'll realize about your new found power is that you actually do less work, even though it will seem as though you have more on your plate. Do you ever notice how your bosses are constantly playing golf, or taking random vacation days for no reason? The higher up you get in any company, the less work you will actually have to do. It's the American way.

If I were you I would take the promotion, fire the dickwad you hate the most in your company, and make every Thursday 'Dress Like a Stripper' day. Then take Monday off and spend it counting up all the new found money you've made. Not taking a promotion? I'm guessing you're going as the Joker this weekend.