Aren't Celebrities Losing Money Too?

I think we've hit an all-time new low in this country. There have been many signs recently that have led us to believe we're in a tailspin of disaster, some of which are obvious and some that are not. Among them the Dow Jones recession, gas prices, 'The Hills' still being on the air, the housing market, Tom Brady not playing in the NFL this year, and the ever-growing amount of douchebags that clutter our great land. Ok, maybe the DB's have always been here, but the rest of that stuff is perplexing. Anyway, it seems as though it's getting worse.

How could it be getting worse Peddler? Well it's not Mailbag day, but I'll answer your question anyway. It seems as though we are now hosting charity functions for the recently laid-off businessmen that work on Wall Street. That's right, the filthy rich 20-somethings who probably played a larger part in this recession than we realize right now have their own cause. Right now I'm sure you're asking, what type of charity are we talking about here? Seriously, Mailbag is tomorrow, stop asking so many questions.

A bar in Manhattan is hosting a gala of sorts that will invite any recently laid off Wall Street worker to network among desperate company executives that are in search of dilapidated talent. Technically, there are actual people that will be helped in this mess. Every one of these unemployed idiots has to pay $20 at the door that goes to the Ronald McDonald House, which is actually a great cause. But despite this fact, there is still a function occurring in NYC that is being held simply to find these rich assholes a new job. And my problem isn't necessarily with the fact that these individuals are looking for a new occupation, but that Bloomberg News decided it was front page material. Aren't there other groups in this world that might be more deserving of our country's front page news?

What about the farmers in this country who are losing hundreds a day due to the lack of government funding and consumer demand?

How about the small business owner who can't afford to pay his/her employees?

Where is the love for middle-class IT professional who has an expensive lifestyle to maintain, yet can't because he bought a new, shiny car right before the economic crunch and is now stuck with monthly payments he can barely afford?

What about the kids in high school who have to get a pager because their folks can't afford a cellphone payment?

How about the small restaurant owners who have to stop serving Foie Gras on their menu, and substitute that item with local squirrels they catch in an alley?

As you can see, there are so many other important causes out there to support besides wasting time reporting on how bad the yuppie schmucks on Wall Street have it. I'm not a cynic mind you, I hope these guys and gals get their job back soon and start helping our economy blossom. I just hoped they wouldn't have to resort to being such jackasses about it. Also, give me my mutual fund money back, you pricks.

And by the way, in case you were wondering, the function is called a 'Pink Slip Party'. You can't make that kinda shit up.